Thursday, April 14, 2005

And this is the thanks I get

I went to school yesterday after rushing around here trying to get some things done before I got to work. As I was walking into the cafeteria, I looked down and noticed that I was wearing 1 each of 2 different kinds of tennis shoes. (Both white and blue, at least) This was a precursor of bad things to come.

It was Spring Fling, and all clubs are expected to have a table manned, with give-aways, or at least things to sell. My table, Campus Crusade for Christ, had some books, CDs, baseball cards, and general information to hand out to anyone who was interested. I had been there maybe 15 minutes when a man walked up, and looked at our Campus Crusade sign (8 1/2x 11, green, with the name of the club) and said, "Campus Crusade...isn't that an oxymoron?" Being an English professor, I know an oxymoron when I see it, and it sure wasn't the sign. This fellow proceeded, for the next hour or so, to accuse us, as Christians of everything from child abuse, threatening Terri Schiavo judges, abortion clinic bombings, the war in Iraq, cutting Medicaid, teaching creationism in schools, global warming, and the election of George Bush. (No wonder I'm so tired--in only 50 years, that's a lot to accomplish.) Mostly, I let the campus minister deal with him, while I continued to deal with various students and their problems, chat with the Gay/Lesbian club, and greet other professors.

This fellow, a music professor, went on to say that he would know a real Christian by what he saw them do. Finally, I had had all my little Irish heart could take. I lit into him, and told him that for the last hour I had listened to him accuse Christians, and me personally, of all sorts of crimes, and that wasn't reasonable, seeing as how he had never met me. I then went on to ask him how many students had come to him and even greeted him in the past hour (none), and where he was when I was counseling at least 2 students with various problems, and if he realized that there was one student graduating this semester who wouldn't have even attended college had I not enrolled him, got him grants and a job and provided transportation! I told him that he didn't know me, or that I had worked food pantries and homes for battered women, and even volunteered one day a week at the Humane Society. Having no rebuttal to that, he then accused me of voting for George Bush (obviously, the most evil thing one can do in his world). I retorted that who I voted for was none of his business, and I wasn't going to tell him. Again, I reiterated that he didn't know me, and that by using his own logic, I could accuse him of being guilty of encouraging rapes, school shootings, suicides, and the murder of policemen, since he was a musician and some rap songs have those themes. He began wagging his pointer finger at me and going on about the Evils of Republican Christians. I said, "Do NOT point at me" and gave him THE LOOK. He retreated somewhat, and then decided that, since I was a Christian, I must certainly be against evolution, in favor of going back to the scientific middle ages, and stated that no scientist believed that God created the world.

And there I had him. I said, "Well, my son holds a Ph.D. in nanotechnology from the UMinn, ran their electron microscopy lab, and now researches alloys to go into the defibrillator that will resuscitate you when your blood pressure climbs too high. And he not only believes in creation, he can probably name you a dozen other scientists who aren't evolutionists, either." I helpfully spelled my son's name and suggested that he "google" him so that he could see that my son is, indeed a multiply-published scientist.Then he accused me of not believing in global warming. This was the coldest day we had had in a couple of weeks, so I told him that wasn't really a good time to make that accusation, and then I decided that it was time to invoke the Holy Grail of Academia--I told him that I was personally offended by his comments, especially since he hadn't made my acquaintance until the hour before. He said that he wouldn't apologize, and believed that a college was where we should be able to discuss any matters. I told him that I agreed with him, but I was still offended by his accusations. (And since he doesn't know me, he also doesn't know that I have lunch with his own department head once a week.) I encouraged him to hurry off to his class, and secretly prayed that he would have to spend the next hour explaining why Bach wrote "to God's glory" on all his compositions.

So today, I sent him a lovely card (handmade, with my stamps) and thanked him for the discussion and said I hoped he hadn't taken offense, and that I was looking forward to working with him.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar...

1 comment:

tush said...

Prof,

Pretty soon you two are going to be playing live music at a coffee shop together. If you need a 3 chord wonder guitarist, let me know.