My New Career

Apparently the Department of Homeland Security has decided that my next career is that of right-wing extremist.  Since I believe abortion is evil, all immigrants should be legal, the Second Amendment is still valid, big government is dangerous, and Tax Day Tea Parties are just an exercise in the right of free assembly, I definitely fit DHS's definition of extremist.  Oh--I also belong to a conservative religious group.   Oh, well.  I've changed careers before, and I guess one more time before I retire won't kill me.

Hey, Janet Napolitano--you are invited to my office for a tea party.  Have a seat on my couch and I'll brew you a cup of tea and maybe feed you a scone if I have any left.  Enjoy the lilac candles and the classical music playing on my iPod.  We'll talk.  Maybe the tranquil atmosphere will calm you down.  If not, I have a Hallmark panic button for you to press.  Get to know me, and you'll see just how extreme I really am.  I'm about the least likely person to pose a physical threat to you, but I might just threaten your own left-wing extremist view of me as a danger to the New Society.  Maybe if you left your insulated Washington hideout and met real middle Americans you wouldn't have such a phobia about us.

So Janet--see you on my couch.